The Jignes Patel

The Jignes Patel rocks. The Jignes Patel talks and the world listens. The Jignes Patel loves talking to globes. The Jignes Patel is going backpacking. He damages his back, packing. He is The Jignes Patel. Floral-shirt from Indraprashta in Borivali, a pair of Gucci Jeans from Arsa Market in Andheri and over-sized glares from Shop No. 49 at Linking Road.
Give it up for the Rocking Jignes Patel. The Jignes Patel is a gym-freak. He freaks out at the gym. But then, he is The Jignes Patel. He is 5 feet 11 inches and weighs 49 kilos. His hair, middle-parted and streaked light golden. The Jignes Patel spends INR 2500 at Nalini & Yasmin to colour 137 strands of hair. The Jignes Patel is good with numbers. He is The Jignes Patel. The Jignes Patel is studying at Ritambhara College. He is the talk of the college. He auditioned for Indian Idol Season 4. He sang 'Pari Hoon Main' at the audition. He is The Jignes Patel. Last Sunday, they went clubbing - friends and The Jignes Patel. They danced in a circle. It was Salsa Night. The Jignes Patel has a girlfriend. Not Jigisa. Her name is Jhamkudi. Jhamkudi from Surat. The Jignes Patel makes fun of Jhamkudi because she does not have Bombaiyya attitude like him. The Jignes Patel has khakra and thepla for breakfast. And for lunch. And for dinner. Not with his tea though. He prefers dhokla. HE is the Jignes Patel. The Jignes Patel has not kissed Jhamkudi yet. Jhamkudi thinks kissing is unhygienic. The Jignes Patel gets annoyed. He ends up standing one night with Jigisa. Next day The Jignes Patel complains of leg-ache. The Jignes Patel is a virgin. Only till the time he kisses Jhamkudi though. He is The Jignes Patel. 

But today, The Jignes Patel went to vote. He realized his responsibility towards his country. If he, The Jignes Patel, could vote - Why The Fuck Couldn't You?